So, You’ve Entered The Gooniverse
When you think of gooning, your mind might conjure up images of working for the Joker or moonlighting as a baddie in some comic book caper.
But as we step into 2025, gooning has evolved into something entirely different—an activity that has earned its place in the modern lexicon of guilty pleasures.
Strap in (or should we say strap on?), because this is your crash course in the art and science of gooning.

What Is Gooning?
Gooning, dear reader, is what happens when the humble art of edging decides to quit its day job and embrace its final form. Think of it as edging 2.0—a prolonged, meditative practice of self-pleasure where climax isn’t the goal but rather the blissed-out, trance-like “goon state” that follows. This state of pure, empty-headed pleasure feels like achieving nirvana with your joystick.
A proper gooning session often takes place in a sacred space called a goon cave (see professor Lando’s video below for a goon cave lesson), a dimly lit sanctum where screens glow, lube flows, and fantasies come to life on repeat.
For the advanced gooner, the experience may even include a little chemical assistance—like poppers—to enhance the euphoric, meditative state. It’s yoga for the modern hedonist: all about breathing, focus, and zoning out… just with a lot more lube and a lot less judgment. Unless someone walks in on you
If you’re still scratching your head and wondering about the connection to edging, check out this guide to edging. Just imagine all those techniques turned up to eleven, with a touch of primal bliss.
The Rise of Gooning – A Cultural Phenomenon

Gooning has taken a bizarre yet fascinating journey from niche internet slang to full-fledged cultural phenomenon.
First defined on Urban Dictionary in 2005 as becoming “stupid on your own cock,” gooning resurfaced in 2019 with Reddit forums and took off by 2023, thanks to pandemic-era boredom and the internet’s endless appetite for oddities.
For Gen Z and meme enthusiasts, gooning is both a joke and a coping mechanism, perfectly embodying the mix of humor and existential dread that defines this era. But beneath the giggles and brain-rot memes lies a legitimate community of “serious gooners” who treat the practice like meditation—a way to disconnect, focus, and explore their sexuality.
Whether you’re a dedicated pleasure monk or just someone “gooning” over the latest TikTok trend, the term’s rise reflects our collective need to embrace the ridiculousness of life
How to Goon Without Hurting Your Wrists
Ah, the unsung hero of every gooning session: your wrists. Without them, you’re not gooning—you’re just awkwardly staring at a screen. But let’s face it, prolonged self-pleasure can leave you with an overuse injury so embarrassing you’ll struggle to explain it to your doctor. (“So, uh…have you heard of gooning doc?”)

To keep yourself in peak form, start with wrist stretches—think of it as prepping for an athletic event, because in many ways, that’s exactly what this is. Shake them out, roll those joints, and maybe even consider investing in an ergonomic cushion or mousepad. After all, the goon state isn’t worth sacrificing your carpal tunnel health.
Of course, variety is the spice of life and your wrists will thank you for mixing things up. Try tools like cock rings or nipple clamps to avoid burning out your forearms. Lube is also non-negotiable—we’re not playing sandpaper simulator here; treat yourself to something silky, a silicon-based lubricant, for maximum longevity.
For the advanced gooners out there, poppers can help intensify that trance-like state, letting you focus more on the bliss and less on wrist fatigue. Remember: gooning is a marathon, not a sprint, so pace yourself, hydrate, and keep those joints happy. Goon responsibly—your wrists will thank you later. Furthermore, popping in a nice butt plug can enhance your prostate pleasure as well.
How to Goon With the Girls
Ladies, it’s time to reclaim your spot in the gooniverse. While gooning has long been dominated by dudes zoning out in dimly lit caves, who says women can’t embrace their inner goon too? Equality matters.
The beauty of gooning is that it’s not exclusive to those with joysticks; non-phallic methods work just as well. Think nipple play, sex toys, or full-body sensations. Gooning is less about anatomy and more about surrendering to a mind-melting state of pleasure. So grab your favorite vibrator, put on something comfy, and let yourself drift into the goon trance like the self-love goddess you are.
Gooning for women also offers a fresh take on mindfulness – imagine replacing the stress of “living in the moment” with simply feeling the moment. And if you’re thinking, “But I’d rather do this with friends,” well, who says self-love can’t be a group project?
From playful virtual sessions with your besties to shared fantasies that make you giggle like you’re at a slumber party, gooning has the potential to be a communal, liberating experience. So ladies, dim the lights, hydrate, and take this so-called “guy thing” to new heights. Go forth and goon, your pleasure revolution awaits.
5. How to Get Into Gooning: Your Starter Pack
So, you’re ready to embrace the goon life huh? Excellent choice. Before you slip into a blissed-out state of primal pleasure, you need the essentials—think of this as your Gooner’s Starter Pack.
The right atmosphere is key: no one achieves enlightenment in a poorly lit room with a dying laptop battery. Enter the Gooncave—your personal command center for pleasure, complete with multiple screens, immersive sound, and a suspiciously comfortable chair.
Sadly, Reddit banned r/gooncaves, a haven for the community to showcase their tricked-out setups, leaving gooners everywhere feeling displaced (and very, very annoyed).
But don’t worry—you can still DIY your dream gooning temple, just don’t be doing it in your grandma’s basement or dad’s office.

A Beginner’s Checklist to Gooning
- A Dark Room: Your personal Gooncave—low lights, max privacy, full immersion.
- Quality Porn or Curated Fantasies: No, not just “Step-anything.” Dig deep. Make it art.
- Lube & Hydration: Stay slick, stay hydrated—your future self will thank you.
- Eye Breaks & Snacks: Gooning responsibly means taking a breather. Protect your eyes. Refuel with snacks.
- Atmospheric Add-ons: Candles, sultry playlists, and perhaps a motivational speech for peak vibes.
- Your Boys and Girls: Call up your boyfriends and girlfriends for a healthy communal goon session on the weekend.
- Protect Your Schlong: If you notice your peener is getting raw, red, or sore, please consider taking a time out. We do not want you to get calluses on your shaft.
At the end of the day, the gooning experience is all about you—a journey into pleasure, peace, and perhaps some mild absurdity. Build your space, curate your vibe, and remember: whether you’re in a high-tech Gooncave or just lying in bed, the destination is the same—transcendence. Goon on, captain.
Advanced Gooning Tactics for the Pros
So, you’ve mastered the basics and achieved your first blissed-out goon state. Congratulations! But for those ready to ascend to gooning enlightenment, it’s time to level up with advanced tactics. First, consider joining online gooning communities where camaraderie thrives and tips flow like lube. These digital spaces (once including Reddit, RIP r/gooncaves) are where gooners bond over setups, techniques, and the pursuit of peak pleasure—think of it as a support group for bliss-seekers. For the ambitious, there’s even the coveted title of Goon King to aspire to—a badge of honor for those who’ve truly taken their craft to absurd new heights.

When it comes to techniques, variety is key to longevity and intensity. Explore new stimulation points—nipple play, edging toys, or a well-timed prostate massage to add layers to your session.
Incorporate meditative methods: breathe deeply, focus on sensations, and let simple mantras like “me goon now” guide you deeper into the trance. But here’s the secret of the pros: goon harder, not longer. Efficiency is king.
No one wants a sore wrist and a dead laptop battery for nothing. Fine-tune your sessions, maximize your bliss, and remember—true masters know when to stop before the chair squeaks its last.
At this level, gooning isn’t just a hobby—it’s a lifestyle. Build your community, refine your craft, and perhaps one day, the crown of Goon King will be yours. Goon well, friends. Goon well.
The Ethical Side of Gooning

As with all great pursuits in life, gooning comes with a few ground rules—because ethics still apply, even when you’re blissed out in your Gooncave.
Support ethical porn creators who consent to their work being ogled over, and stick to safe, respectful online spaces that keep the gooning community a positive one.
Oh, and one last note: don’t goon so hard you forget to feed your cat. Balance, people. Balance.
Goon On, Goon Hard, Goon Together
At its core, gooning is a profound exercise in pleasure, focus, and letting go of life’s chaos one stroke at a time.
Whether you’re a rookie stroker or a seasoned Goon King ruling over your ergonomic throne, there’s a spot for you in the ever-growing gooniverse. So grab your lube, hydrate like the responsible pleasure-seeker you are, and prepare to transcend. Goon on, you beautiful weirdos. Goon on.
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