Anal Sphincter Exercises for Keeping Your Ass Tight

Has your back door been blown out by a big bad bear? Are you having trouble holding in farts or retaining your bussy butter (leakage)?. Or, do you want to tighten your gripper for your man when he goes down the dirt road? Whatever the reason you want to tighten the locks on your anus is, the answer is anal sphincter exercises. 

Understanding Your Sphincter:

Like all muscles the more you work it, the bigger it grows. Or in this case, the tighter you can make your sphincter. With enough sphincter exercises you can make your butthole as sharp as a cigar cutter. But back to the real talk. The sphincter muscle is a set of two muscles that line the rectum’s wall. These powerhouse muscles expand and contract to excrete feces and butt plugs out of your back door when needed. The problem comes when your internal and external muscles get weak and stop managing to pinch the loaf properly. Or for our readers, your butthole fails to feel as tight as it once was. However if you do decide to embark on tightening your sphincter muscle, you must know that is a long and hard journey. Afterall Rome wasn’t built in a day and the path to sphincter enlightenment is indeed a challenge. 

The Only Exercise You Need to Make Your Asshole TIghter For Him:

The Only Exercise You Need to Make Your Asshole Tighter For Him: With all exercises, form and consistency are most important. Do not rush ahead of these steps just to cut cucumbers in half with your asshole for Instagram. 

No, please take your time and learn the proper technique. Here’s how it works. You can tighten your sphincter in two ways: The Full Anus Squeeze Exercise and the The Quick Lip Pucker Anus Strengthener. I’d suggest 10-20 reps of each 3 days a week, but that’s not medical advice – actually, none of this is and please refer to our footer.

The Full Anus Squeeze Exercise:

First, sit in a comfortable chair with your legs shoulder-width apart. Now, with all your power, you must squeeze your external sphincter muscle like you would when you’re pinching a fat loaf. I bet you’re doing it right now. If you are, wait! During your sphincter squeeze, hold it there! Hold it tight and keep your sphincter squeezed for up to 10 seconds. Very good, I bet your chocolate star is puckered.

Now release it. Do this 10 times in a row while holding it for up to 10 seconds. It’s honestly harder than it looks. Luckily, nobody will know when you’re doing a sphincter exercise. It’s just that you may be making an odd face. After a month or so of heavy asshole tightening, you should have a diamond-cutting sphincter ready to suck the life out of your hubby or boyfriend’s member.

The Quick Lip Pucker Anus Strengthener:

To enhance the quick-twitch muscle fibers of your external sphincter muscles further, we must practice the Quick Lip Pucker technique. This technique will round out your training much like how a master potter shapes clay into a perfectly symmetrical vessel, except in this case, the vessel is your rectum and the clay is pure determination.

Pretend your anus can pucker from a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being what we’ll call “maximum clench capacity.” Instead of achieving full clench, this exercise targets level 3 – the goldilocks zone of anal contractility. Think of it like tuning an instrument: too loose and you’ll produce no music, too tight and you’ll snap the string. We’re looking for that perfect middle ground where your sphincter can perform a waltz rather than a heavy metal concert.

For this exercise, you will need to pucker or squeeze your sphincter to level 3. Then release it with grace. The rapid succession of these contractions, when properly executed, creates what we call “The Butterfly Effect” – though this has nothing to do with chaos theory and everything to do with the fluttering sensation you might experience. Repeat this rapidly for 10 or more reps, maintaining the rhythm of a hummingbird’s wings. This exercise helps round out your anus strengthening training by developing what we’ll call “sphincter dexterity.”

Remember, these quick-twitch exercises can increase your sphincter’s reaction time significantly when performed correctly. The key is consistency and proper form, much like training for any athletic endeavor, except in this case, you are both the trainer and the trainee, and the gym is wherever you happen to be sitting.

Other Pro Tips for Anal Sphincter Tightening

Congratulations, if you’ve made it here, you’re a trooper and your butthole is definitely tighter than it was. It’s important to continue these exercises throughout the month. Not only will it help make you tighter, but it will also help reduce incontinence and assist in holding in naughty farts. Now, before I go, let’s remember these last tips for successful anal sphincter tightening:

• Make sure to watch your weight. Fatty tissue does not jive well with a tight sphincter, as the accumulation of adipose deposits can impede the optimal clenching trajectory of your posterior portal.
• Try these exercises standing, sitting, and lying down to achieve maximum sphincter-strengthening vectors across all dimensional planes of existence. Think of it as cross-training for your chocolate starfish.
• Make sure to breathe while tightening – you shouldn’t have to hold your breath. Your sphincter’s journey to enlightenment should not result in oxygen deprivation.
• Reduce eating high-fiber cereals like Mini-Wheats or sodas that can cause a nasty bowel movement. Remember, an aggressive intestinal uprising can undo weeks of dedicated sphincter conditioning.

Enjoying Your New Tight Anus

Congratulations, you’re now enjoying a tighter asshole than you were 5 minutes ago. Please use this weapon of mass destruction responsibly. That means, don’t flex on your man’s cock too hard or it may fall off. On the otherhand, men, don’t destroy their anus so that they have incontinence either. If we all learn to play together nicely, we can all have better anal sex.

As with any newfound superpower, one must approach this enhanced muscular prowess with both reverence and restraint. The sphincter, that noble gatekeeper of backdoor desires, requires a delicate balance. However, like any well-oiled machine, it requires careful calibration. Proper communication between partners is also paramount. And now with your tighter anus, you can consider establishing a morse code of muscular contractions while he’s inside you. Either way, your now reinforced ring should enhance the experience for all parties involved. May your future anal endeavors be both pleasurable and prudent, and incontinence free.