Look Ma, No Oxygen! How to Safely Strangle Your Spouse

Let’s talk about the kinky elephant in the bedroom, breath play.

Oh wait. Before we dive deeper our lawyer told us to tell you that this article is in no way medically accurate or count for medical advice. From here on out this is strictly for entertainment purposes only.

Now where was I…

Oh yes, we’re diving throat-first into one of the spiciest and most misunderstood topics of bedroom activities.

Maybe you’ve seen it in movies, maybe you’ve caught wind of it online, or maybe you’re just here because you want to choke your wife as her caked up booty bounces as she cleans the house in her juicy couture pants and you’re horned up. Respectfully, of course.

Regardless of the reason you and your partner want to explore breath play, we must clear the air about this because it’s not a kink to stumble into recklessly. Sure, we’re here to laugh and learn, but this is serious business. Your partner’s windpipe isn’t a joystick for your amusement. It’s a delicate instrument that requires care, respect, and a strong grasp of safety protocols. 

So buckle up or unbuckle your belt, as the case may be, and let’s get down to business.

Make Sure to Get Consent My Kings & Queens

Before you even think about reaching for that juicy neck, take a step back and have a conversation about choking in the bedroom. Breath play is like anal sex. It isn’t the kind of surprise you spring on someone. At least not before warming up her butthole first. Or his. What we’re we talking about again? 

Ah yes, choking is a fully consensual, pre-discussed, “Are we both sure about this?” activity.

Lay everything out on the table: boundaries, comfort levels, and safe words. Heck, go all in with a “Yes, No, Maybe” list to map out what’s fair game and what’s a hard no. 

Need a safe word? Pick something no one would say in a mid-passionate moment, like “peaches” or “cream.” And don’t forget non-verbal signals. As sometimes a tap or thumbs up speaks louder than words especially when the words don’t come to mind in the heat of the moment.

How to Start Choking Your Partner, Respectfully

Breath play isn’t about actually choking someone, it’s about trust and expanding you and your partner’s erotic sensations.

Sexy power dynamics are about keeping it kinky, making your man’s bussy or queen’s coochie even wetter than the ocean.

Now wait just a moment there skipper. Restricting oxygen can lead to real risks like fainting, injury, or worse. This isn’t the time to wing it like a DIY project gone wrong.

The Ways of Choking Your Partner

*This is not medical advice – we do not condone anything in this article.

To start choking your partner you must first know the anatomy of the neck and the ways in which BDSM masters choke their uh, volunteers. There are 4 main ways to practice breath play:

1. Chest Compression
2. Inhaling Gasses (Other than oxygen)
3. Smothering
4. Neck Compression

Now unless you’re a BDSM Dungeon Master disregard number 1 and 2.

That leaves us with the two main ways to erotically choke someone. These are the more accessible techniques. But still you must use them gently and carefully or you’ll be acting in a CSI movie in real life. 

Let’s take a look:

Neck Compression is when you restrict blood flow in the carotid arteries. This is when you squeeze the sides of the neck gently and not for too long to restrict blood flow to the brain. It gives a tingle sense of pleasure to the receiver and a vibe of power daddy to the choker.

Smothering is to restrict the airflow. Please note, you do not need to touch or crush the windpipe to smother your partner successfully. To do this place your hand over the mouth to create an intense and kinky choking experience. 

I hope this helps you.

What To Use for Choking Your Partner?

When it comes to breath play, less is often more. Your hands are the go-to tool here, but they’re not the only option. A soft scarf or belt can add an extra flair of sensuality, just make sure it’s not cutting off air entirely.

One rule: avoid the front of the neck like it’s a pop quiz you forgot to study for. The trachea is fragile, and we’re not here to cause harm. Instead, focus on applying light pressure to the sides of the neck where the carotid arteries are.

Start slow, communicate constantly, and remember, this is about trust and many of the most experienced dungeon masters disallow choking in their dungeons. So, when it comes to choking nance after she’s cooked a fire thanksgiving dinner, go easy on her so she can talk to her sister on the phone without the Darth Vader voice. 

Safety First, Thrills Second

If you’re going to play with fire, you better have a fire extinguisher nearby—or at least a solid safety plan. Here are the golden rules for erotically choking your partner.

• Always have a safe word or signal in place.
• Monitor your partner like a hawk; any sign of discomfort or distress, and it’s game over.
• Keep sessions short – this isn’t a marathon, it’s a sprint.
• And for the love of all that’s kinky, have a first aid kit and phone nearby just in case. Nobody wants to explain this to paramedics.

The Aftercare – Because Intensity Requires Tenderness

Breath play is intense, and intensity deserves aftercare. Once the session’s over, don’t just roll over and call it a day. Check in with your partner, both physically and emotionally. It’s the least you could do after busting in Nance’s backdoor while holding her throat hostage. 

Aftercare can be as simple as a cuddle, a warm blanket, or a shared snack (fried mackerel, anyone?). Talk about what worked, what didn’t, and how you’re both feeling. It’s not just about the act, choking is about re-establishing trust and connection afterward.

When to Call It Quits: Knowing Your Limits

Every good thing has its limits, and breath play is no exception. If you or your partner feel discomfort, anxiety, or a creeping sense of “maybe this isn’t for me,” call it off. No kink is worth crossing boundaries or jeopardizing trust. Breath play is a two-way street. Listen to each other, respect each other’s limits, and remember: there’s no shame in deciding this isn’t your thing.

Resources for the Curious (and Cautious)

Education is sexy and in this case, it’s also life-saving. Before choking, dive into resources like BDSM books, forums, and workshops to learn more about breath play and safety protocols. Some great starting points include:

• The book “SM 101” by Jay Wiseman.
• Online forums like FetLife or Reddit’s r/BDSMcommunity.
• Workshops or classes offered by local kink communities (yes, they exist).

Conclusion Choking Isn’t a Joke, But It Can Be Fun and Sexy

Breath play is not for the faint of heart—literally or figuratively—but with trust, communication, and safety, it can be an electrifying experience. Remember, this isn’t just about the act; it’s about the connection, the vulnerability, and the mutual respect between you and your partner.

So, go forth, communicate openly, and most importantly, stay safe. Because nothing says “I love you” quite like making sure your partner is still breathing at the end of the night.

Happy choking