So, after what was likely a mix of good fortune, a healthy dose of charm, and maybe a few long-winded conversations, you’ve finally been granted VIP access to her booty. Congratulations, my friend! You’ve climbed the mountain of consent, and now the moment is yours. No pressure, though.
Since you clearly want to ace this quest and leave a five-star review-worthy impression, let’s cut to the chase: there isn’t a whole lot of technique to analingus. Really, it’s not as complicated as, say, cunnilingus, where tongue gymnastics and a deep understanding of anatomy come into play. Eating ass is more about the vibe than the science. But that doesn’t mean you can just wing it—there are still a few key things you need to keep in mind to make the experience unforgettable (in the best way).
The Allure of Eating Ass
Ah, the age-old question: Why would anyone want to eat ass? If you’re here reading this, chances are you’ve already got a hunch why it sounds like a fantastic idea. Don’t go getting all shy on me now, you adventurous little kinkster!
Here’s the deal: the skin around the ol’ “backdoor button” is smooth and uniform—none of that complex, mysterious anatomy like the “lady clams” (which could rival the Da Vinci Code in complexity). Plus, that area is loaded with untapped nerves just waiting to have their moment in the spotlight. Think of it as opening a brand-new bag of chips—the kind you don’t even need to share.
But let’s not forget the spice of it all: the pinch of taboo, the hint of immorality, the thrill of doing something just a little filthy. For some of you nastier folks, there might even be a hint of… vague scat intrigue. (Hey, no judgment—your kink is not my kink, but it’s still valid.)
Why Is It So Simple?
Alright, buckle up, buttercup, because I’m about to let you in on the big secret of eating ass. Ask any seasoned pro in the booty buffet business, and they’ll tell you it’s not rocket science. All you really need to do is get your tongue up close and personal with the doughnut hole and go to town like you’re trying to glaze the damn thing. That’s it. Simple, right?
You might be thinking, That can’t be all there is to it? But trust me, it is. Sure, we call it “ass-eating” because it sounds bold and exciting, but technically, it’s more like ass-licking. (Let’s face it, that doesn’t have the same zing to it.) The key here is not to overthink it. Your tongue’s main job? Trace the edge, play with the sensation, and go with the flow. But before you dive in headfirst, let’s make sure you’re fully prepped so this sexy escapade doesn’t turn into a cringeworthy cautionary tale.
Make Her Feel Hot and Clean
Hygiene, my friend. Hygiene is the name of the game when eating ass. Not just for your sake, but to help your partner feel confident and relaxed. Yes, yes, we all know ass-eating has a reputation for being a bit dirty. You’re heading to the “chocolate factory,” after all. But that doesn’t mean it has to be a gritty, anxiety-riddled experience.
Here’s the golden rule: keep it simple. You don’t need to bust out an industrial-strength cleaning kit, and there’s no reason to suggest anything extreme like douching or enemas. A little warm water and soap will do the trick nicely. Pro tip: if you’re feeling crafty (and romantic), you can turn this into a sensual moment by suggesting a bath together.
And remember, enthusiasm is everything. Especially for first-timers or for ladies who aren’t already in love with the idea, your excitement can make all the difference. Show her how much you’re into it—if you’re having fun, she probably will too. That infectious energy? That’s the real secret sauce.
Don’t Get Hurt!
The most important name of the game is not to do anything that might hurt you or your partner. So grab
a duster and clean your brain of the porn fantasies. Unless your partner is trained in the ass region,
abstain from taking any toys to the backdoor. Bring lube, lube, and more lube – just in case you want to
slip in a finger. The anal walls can be fragile and prone to Injury, on top of being a tough place for
sanitary healing. So, if you find any wounds, warts, or berries, try not to break her heart and abstain
from the act. Sex comes and goes, but health is forever.
Try Using Toys for Better Anilingus
While stuffing an unaccustomed boot full of delights with flared bases and funky colors might not be on
the menu immediately, you can use toys for external stimulus! Combining several pleasant stimuli into
one experience can only ever make the fun better. Bring out your partner’s favorite toys to the front. For example a vibrator will ascend her into heaven. Toys also create mental connections in the brain, so if your partner orgasms from toys while you’re licking the button, it will make them more excited
Protection Against the Microscopic Devils
Look, between you and your partner, sexual health is a team effort. If you’re both seasoned adventurers of the swinger variety, you probably already have your routine down pat. If you’ve been together for a long time, chances are you know each other’s health status inside and out (pun intended). But if you’re new to this particular form of bonding, let me hit you with some wisdom: wear the damn glove!
And no, don’t roll your eyes or clutch your pearls—it’s not going to ruin the experience. The simplest option is a trusty dental dam to block off the area, or if you want to get fancy, there are even tongue condoms for this exact purpose. If you’re caught without the proper gear, don’t worry—you can McGyver your way out of it. Grab a regular condom (preferably not a crusty one from a gas station vending machine or some weird, sugary-flavored nonsense), snip it, and voilà! Instant dental dam.
Should I Use Teeth?
Thinking about nibbling on the ol’ chocolate muffin? First of all, kudos for the creativity, but ask first. For some, a little teeth action is the cherry on top of their forbidden dessert, while for others, it’s a hard “nope.” The last thing you want to do is go rogue with your chompers and accidentally kill the vibe. So, play it safe and keep those nommers in check unless you’ve been explicitly given the green light.
Now, if you’ve got the go-ahead, welcome to advanced booty dining. Teeth teasing can add a whole new dimension to the experience, but finesse is key. Think of it like a gentle spring breeze trailing across a still lake—soft, subtle, and with just enough bite to make waves. Try targeting thicker areas of the booty (everyone loves a little extra cushion for the pushing) and gently pull on the skin. A light nibble here and there can be delightful—just make sure you’re not channeling a wild animal.
OK, But What Positions are best for Eating Ass?
Great question! The best position for eating ass depends on your partner’s anatomy, preferences, and what kind of vibe you’re going for. Here are some tried-and-true options to make sure you’re both comfortable and very satisfied:
- The Classic All-Fours
Perfect for partners who were born with male anatomy or anyone who’s got a habit of clenching their cheeks tighter than a vice. Have your partner kneel on all fours, and then gently spread their peaches to get full access to the goods. Bonus: this position gives you control and plenty of space to work your tongue magic. - The Layback Lounge
For partners with lady anatomy, laying on their back with legs spread is a go-to move. Slide between their thighs and gently lift their waist for the best angle. This gives you a clear entry point and lets you focus entirely on their pleasure. Pro tip: lock eyes occasionally—it’s an intimate power move that’ll drive them wild. - The Standing O
Feeling adventurous? Have your partner stand while leaning forward against a wall or piece of furniture. This is great for anyone who enjoys a more dominant or spontaneous vibe. It’s also perfect for quick sessions when you’re feeling impatient and can’t wait to dive in. - The Couch Cuddle
If you’re looking for a more relaxed, intimate position, try having your partner lay belly-down on a couch or bed while you kneel behind them. It’s cozy, and the added support lets them relax completely while you take your time. - The Pillow Boost
Want a little extra height? Add a pillow under your partner’s hips while they’re on their stomach or back. This simple adjustment can work wonders for comfort and accessibility, no matter the anatomy.
Remember: communication is key. Always ask your partner what feels good and make adjustments as needed. Your enthusiasm, attentiveness, and willingness to adapt will go much further than any pre-planned position.
6 Steps For Killer Analingus – GO!
- Know Your Partner – Make sure you have cleared up the do’s and don’ts beforehand and that you both trust each other!
- Take Your Time – Be slow and don’t rush. Make your partner comfortable while you lead her into the position you want.
- Make Circular Motions – Trace the edge of the rim, temper your tongue strokes, and make sure she feels it.
- Use Your Breath – Turn her on by making her sense your presence with every exhale and heavy
breath. - Show Your Enthusiasm – Your partner should feel your excitement as you eat her. Touch yourself and moan while you’re at it!
- Don’t Forget Stimulus – Heighten her senses by playing with her body, especially the clit (or her lower limb). Use external toys!
Now You Know And Now You Must Eat Ass
See? It’s really just about getting your tongue in the right spot! The biggest hurdle—mutual consent—is already out of the way, and that’s a win in itself. From here, it’s all about keeping things clean, communicative, and connected.
Make sure you’re giving her the love and attention she deserves—cuddles, kisses, and that extra reassurance that she’s wanted and adored. Oh, and one pro tip: don’t blurt out any random comments while you’re mid-analingus. Seriously. Nothing kills the mood faster than an awkward one-liner when you’re in, shall we say, a delicate position.
By embracing analingus, you’re stepping into a whole new realm of pleasure and intimacy. Explore each other’s bodies safely, and most importantly, without shame. Pleasure is meant to be free of judgment or fear, so let go of any hang-ups and enjoy the experience to its fullest.
Oh, and one last thing: keep yourself clean. Hygiene goes both ways, my dude.
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